tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36010047589505994612024-03-14T11:53:22.741-06:00ad.astra.landfrom kansas & new mexico.e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11047195894985453722noreply@blogger.comBlogger561125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601004758950599461.post-55882823964855340652019-02-07T08:29:00.000-07:002019-02-07T08:29:40.783-07:00late january 2017 and maybe I'll update it soon <br />
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in late january of 2017 I started a blog post that waited for me to finish, here is what I wrote.<br />
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"walking in the morning, with the sun rising up over the tall grasses. the ground frosty underneath my boots, the dog running and leaping like a small deer over the field, hoping to scare up mice and bunnies.<br />
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we sit under a migration path. every day we see flocks of thousands of birds flying overhead. they create a smoky looking trail in the sky, in a ever twisting changing line in the sky from one horizon to another. occasionally they drop low, and we stand looking up at their white bellies or red wings in full flight, the sound of a thousand wings creating a quiet roar in the air.<br />
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this is the point in winter where it becomes just a wait for Spring. when we start seeds, when we dig up the ground, these are still ahead. the chicken coop has newly built nests, with a fence on the way.<br />
like our home in NM, we burn wood to help keep the house warm. but unlike in NM, here when we cut the trees down, we are also planning where to plant trees too."<br />
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Here it is early April, and Spring is definitely arrived. We had days and days of cloudy rains. We began to feel quite dreary as we watched the rain gauge climb. But with sunshine now, I've found peas, carrots and onion seedling coming up, the redbuds are purple-d out, iris are beginning to bloom and the lilies mom has planted everywhere have become bushes of spring green. The wheat in the fields is lushy and growing high. </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">where all the food will grow</td></tr>
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The four 6-month old hens (two Plymouth Barred Rocks and two New Hampshire Reds) we purchased last month, have made themselves at home. they peck and scratch and lay all day, and roost themselves away at night. </div>
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We have goals and projects all over the place. Fixing up a pen/coop and getting chickens is complete, getting seedlings started and a garden planned, is in its ever continual process. While we are constantly overwhelmed by what we need to do, want to do and how much time and money it will all take, we remind ourselves often of what we have accomplished, and what we get to enjoy by living on this place. </div>
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<br />e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11047195894985453722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601004758950599461.post-88998554346308039742016-05-24T15:51:00.002-06:002016-05-24T15:51:36.735-06:00A trip to another rooftop<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvb6yOhcMdE0rGOfSQ7scAzKQRAPxvfU3GDbTVUU2SKtdyKqdX-yzjf7xf5plpdkvs8jGYC0Fg1EirfCYm9ehvrALcqaVTgZnQo_OcRDj7GDOLm3Vyi7XzryqDp8kj1YITtAWl-P8o_v-r/s1600/IMG_1838.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvb6yOhcMdE0rGOfSQ7scAzKQRAPxvfU3GDbTVUU2SKtdyKqdX-yzjf7xf5plpdkvs8jGYC0Fg1EirfCYm9ehvrALcqaVTgZnQo_OcRDj7GDOLm3Vyi7XzryqDp8kj1YITtAWl-P8o_v-r/s320/IMG_1838.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">sunrise view from our campsite</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">formations on top of the mesa</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Markings from both 17th century Spanish Conquistadors and 12th Century pueblo peoples</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">stairs carved into the sandstone</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-bA8lSevW0Kk8sSgpf0UKhl-WlPTf8aGuRlunXNoVqV6gjmqHuAIuJpUzSdfrOQgOOv8JFDPbfVCpH5YAHmhLYovZLWN5g1RXPKC_Pcv1bI97Q3k6RX6UZpCiTZY5lhgDCLzADGQK2Wik/s1600/IMG_1886.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-bA8lSevW0Kk8sSgpf0UKhl-WlPTf8aGuRlunXNoVqV6gjmqHuAIuJpUzSdfrOQgOOv8JFDPbfVCpH5YAHmhLYovZLWN5g1RXPKC_Pcv1bI97Q3k6RX6UZpCiTZY5lhgDCLzADGQK2Wik/s320/IMG_1886.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">nature is amazing.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5oe8Jc5npEFCY_HGqeMZ-uR9gRINbi2WTpiMGOFU-_137JyWZxzB6i6ircAPGBHbXh3OTqLqhLugKyofDcjlm224Zz6nMparykibFz1Ja7gaD43qtv3yF57-bFWDdPBCZougLilm_vXOm/s1600/IMG_1887.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5oe8Jc5npEFCY_HGqeMZ-uR9gRINbi2WTpiMGOFU-_137JyWZxzB6i6ircAPGBHbXh3OTqLqhLugKyofDcjlm224Zz6nMparykibFz1Ja7gaD43qtv3yF57-bFWDdPBCZougLilm_vXOm/s320/IMG_1887.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">takes will power. </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Atsinna Pueblo ruins atop the mesa, the "desert's rooftop"</td></tr>
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We don't always have time to travel too far from home, but we managed a 4-hour drive to El Morro National Monument. Out in a desert of scrub brush and ancient pinon trees, with majestic sandstone cliffs jutting into the sky and towering above. Along the cliff walls are centuries of petroglyphs combined with inscriptions of the Spanish conquistadors (stopping along the way to conquer the Zuni) and early American travelers (wagon trains and military). Then a climb to the top of the mesa, you find ruins of the Ancient ones, who lived high above the world and nestled into amazing rounded sandstone nooks & crannies. We camped nearby in a peaceful, tree-shady spot, and listened to the wind in the trees all night.</div>
<br />e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11047195894985453722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601004758950599461.post-81317189620405281972016-01-09T14:00:00.003-07:002016-01-09T14:01:53.319-07:00winter so far<br />
its been snowy. and often grey. the puppy loves the snow, she runs and jumps and dives into it. and eats it. there are days when I'm entirely over it. and other days, when it seems lovely and pretty.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjy5oRrUkP1TIzZr91_b1LkJbt8i_3r38jt2l3Rkxfq52W-x5A24Om9FyDE8g3NYqbeXLolVO4j1Ax-V5K8CVj9e6mvzO-x1JZvZH8zsCACnJgnGcHthjPCLNFFMC0xKi5m_pGmLcXDanfc/s1600/IMG_1697.JPG" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjy5oRrUkP1TIzZr91_b1LkJbt8i_3r38jt2l3Rkxfq52W-x5A24Om9FyDE8g3NYqbeXLolVO4j1Ax-V5K8CVj9e6mvzO-x1JZvZH8zsCACnJgnGcHthjPCLNFFMC0xKi5m_pGmLcXDanfc/s320/IMG_1697.JPG" width="320" /></a>e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11047195894985453722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601004758950599461.post-38316687531627143402015-10-21T18:01:00.002-06:002015-10-24T12:39:55.293-06:00remembering this space <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
When I drove to work this morning my view was of the dark, cloudy mountains with newly snowy peaks. It was lovely, but it tells us that winter is coming. Then it began to rain, and has just rained & rained all day. I got an email from a friend last week and she was reminding me that some people do pay attention to this blog, and were wondering where I was. </div>
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I think that my work day drains me a little bit, and so I lose touch with this form of expression, and I think posting photos on instagram, expressing thoughts on Facebook, having also been distractions.</div>
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Today I came home to a dark house shrouded in heavy rain, expecting it to be cold. But I found that D. had started our first fire of the season, & our little house cozy in the wet.</div>
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At the end of the summer we drove up North, and visiting some mountaintop old mining cabins up on what is called Midnight Meadows. Up high, in the deep meadows, far from people and walking in wide meadows. It was beautiful and serene, and reminded you of what quiet is. </div>
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We traveled home to Kansas for our annual trip to Winfield. And we had a long, relaxing time, with a lot of laughing, many Wisconsin-style Brandy Old-Fashioneds, and time with our family & friends. The kids showed us they are all old enough not to need us much, they had afternoons of imagination and kite-flying. And since a lot of us brought our bikes, we were able to ride around together. Oh, and tick bites. Many of us also got bitten by ticks, which was new for the Winfield experience. </div>
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This past weekend, in effort to tire out the puppy and get a little nature time before the cold sets in, we took a hike up Manzanita trail. We were discussing how much stronger I am than I used to be, and how much better I feel than in the months after my surgery. We had gotten up a couple miles, and then I slipped in a creek, and water gushed in over my shoes. And it was time to turn around. The aspen trees are turning yellow, the oak trees are turning golden and soon they will all fall to the ground. But Fall smells so lovely here. The pinon burning, the aroma of leaves as they crunch underfoot, the damp air settles into the pine & cedar trees. </div>
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D. has a new best friend with Sasha. She can hike up a mountain for miles without being tired, and the whole time be simply joyful as she runs & sniffs & explores & splashes in the cold streams. </div>
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e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11047195894985453722noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601004758950599461.post-19349812883822636222015-08-02T10:34:00.001-06:002015-08-02T10:34:28.485-06:00with July past and the monsoons visiting <br />
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It seems to us like we've seen quite a few double rainbows this summer, from Kansas to NM. And then this one happened, only a single, but in a full arc over the sky...from the mountains to the mesa, against the cloudy sky over our adobe. It was so bright it didn't seem quite real...</div>
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A lot of my feeling fortunate moments are around my garden. This morning I was in the garden cutting handfuls of thyme, in order to dry them for the winter. The aroma of the cut thyme, and the sage (a bush of sage with flower stalks coming up to my waist) which sits next to the thyme, along with the smell of the wet rained upon dirt...and I felt lucky to have such perfume in my life. Then cutting my bouquet of flowers, which I could do each day if I wanted...thank goodness for land and gardens. </div>
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The flower bed just outside our house is now in its second year. I knew when I first planted it, that it would mean I could see blooming flowers from the living room couch, and that it would make me smile. I was right, of course.</div>
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Now into August, the warm sunny mornings turn into cloudy afternoons, with monsoon rains sweeping through and drenching the forests and desert. The smell of wet pine, sage & chamisa fill the air. </div>
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Having injured my foot a few weeks ago (no more hopping over the acequia in flip flops for me) I'm still limping and having some pain. (One of the ladies I work with saw me on crutches and said, oh you hurt your pata! -- I love learning spanish words from hearing them used rather than reading them in a textbook -- if only I could go back to college and have this understanding--"pata" by the way really means "paw" it is just used as an cute nickname for foot) So walks have been on hold, as well as any late summer hikes. It is a too bad way to spend the end of summer. But I have to remind myself it is better than how I was feeling this time last year.</div>
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e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11047195894985453722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601004758950599461.post-8391265776088103592015-08-01T08:07:00.001-06:002015-08-01T08:07:24.878-06:00high desert garden on August 1<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
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Garden update: Here in the high desert the tomatoes are still green, but have happy marigold bushes. Have been picking cukes, green beans & peas and have been making pesto to freeze. We had a few weeks of hot days, but monsoon season is officially here, which brings heavy afternoon rains & cooler temps...this is when I have to practice some patience with NM, patience for red tomatoes. </div>
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The cosmos are spreading lots of happy pinks though...and look lovely from our living room window. </div>
e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11047195894985453722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601004758950599461.post-79008133219246799442015-07-03T10:42:00.000-06:002015-07-03T10:42:02.006-06:00july 3<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Our fortune of not having a heating bill is not free. But we mostly enjoy the tiring work involved in cutting wood for burning...and I've seen some of the prettiest spots thanks to our wood "hunts". We recently drove up past little Tres Piedras, turned onto a mountain road, and kept driving up. We were acting on a tip from a friend, knowing a crew had been up there cutting trees for fire prevention. </div>
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In less than two hours we were loaded up with Aspen and Fir. All wood that will sit in our shed and cure until it is ready, this load we will likely burn next Spring. </div>
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The forest we were in was just tall graceful white Aspens and the orange/brown Ponderosas. High into the sky, a roof of leaves. Sasha ran around and discovered all kinds of things. And other than the occasional sound of another person's chainsaw miles away, so quietly away from people and things.</div>
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Since we were up in the area, we took the highway over to the Brazos. Cliffs and high meadows, everything green from this bounty of Spring rain. Eventually we turned onto the last dirt road before the "leaving Carson National Forest" sign, and bounced our way up until we found a good picnic view. A picnic in a mountain meadow on a warm, Saturday afternoon is a very peaceful way to be.</div>
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Estan floreando las chollas. The chollas are blooming. The hot pink seeming especially bright this year. Our usual "backyard" walk is quite colorful right now. Sasha is good about avoiding the cactus thorns, having only occasional issues. </div>
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Our garden is growing slowly and very green. Slow gardening and small plants will just be the way it is here. I think I've resigned myself to it. And I'm quite fine too. My salads are still full of freshly picked lettuce, spinach, basil, thyme & dill. They just don't have freshly picked tomatoes & cucumbers in them yet. Overall, having a garden, even a challenged NM one, makes me feel happy & lucky. </div>
<br />e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11047195894985453722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601004758950599461.post-1123799951448710082015-06-16T20:43:00.004-06:002015-06-16T20:43:36.922-06:00june 16<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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sun setting reflection on our mountains.e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11047195894985453722noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601004758950599461.post-31449826030043554602015-06-08T21:06:00.000-06:002015-06-08T21:06:58.113-06:00little church in las trampas and a rainbow after a storm<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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A little while ago we made a list of things to-do, to-see. Some of them are day trips, some of them are at least four days.</div>
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One was to drive down to Santa Fe, and visit the Georgia O'Keeffe museum. So we had a Saturday free, and it was too cold outside to be outside, so we took the High Road to Santa Fe. One the way we stopped to see the church at Las Trampas. San Jose de la Gracia was being finished by the Spanish just as the Declaration of Independence was being signed by the Americans. No pictures are allowed on the inside, which I think preserves the magic of it. The inside was painted by the early parishioners...what we consider now, folk art. We were only able to get inside because the lady living across the street was nice enough to get the key from someone else, and let us in. I felt very thankful, and like a little bit of grace had been bestowed upon us.</div>
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Having long admired Georgia, since my younger days due to my mother's own love, it was time I visited the museum. The paintings were of course gorgeous, but the photo exhibit was beautiful. When I think about why I live here now, I remember how Georgia loved it so. Also, she looked awesome in a black, flat-brimmed, spanish-style hat, and so now I think I need to find myself one.</div>
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Sometimes Spring brings new things. For us, it is Sasha. Sweet little Sasha'ita came to us at about 8 weeks old, but we had been visiting her since she was born. D. has finally completed his family picture with a dog. She joins us on our walks. She calmly watches us about the house. And she loves napping. And Libby the cat has tolerated quite well.<br />
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New Mexico stays too cold too long for this girl of Kansas. About mid-May I was having a hard time with the still freezing nights and occasionally flurry of snow. But despite my irritation, I could still see the wonder of the scenery around me.<br />
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We went to Kansas I got to see the iris & peonies blooming, the wheat fields tall and still green, and we got to see some of the more important people in our life. </div>
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We returned to Kansas with warmer days in New Mexico. and now the snow piles on top of the peaks seem smaller, and our friends are no longer talking about skiing. </div>
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Our garden here too is growing. All the things are planted. slowly the weeds are also pulled. cilantro, morning glories and cosmos easily re-seed themselves, and could be the entire garden if I let them. What has given me little joyful moments are the marigolds also re-seeding themselves. </div>
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Last week a woman I know was killed. Her brother having been a friend of mine since teenage years. Her death has shocked her community, but her community has responded by finding ways to celebrate her. The sadness has stayed with me. and the distance which prevents me from seeing the people she & I had in common, seems to make the sadness deeper. </div>
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And when this past weekend we took a walk to see a waterfall, and then later after a sweeping storm saw a rainbow, I thought of her, and of my friends in Kansas, and of the temporary nature of all of us. The waterfall and the rainbow are both things we know we will see, but only briefly, and only after a storm or when the snow melts. they are beautiful, and they will exist, but they are not constant. </div>
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Saturday we drove up to Lama to visit a friend who has built himself an amazing and tiny cabin, perched up on the mountains, with a view of what looks like the entire world of peaks and valleys. We ate sitting outside & listened to the wind pick up, watching the sun set over the mountains. Eventually we stood by a fire. escaping only once to shelter during a brief downpour, one that was followed by amazing rainbows. </div>
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<br />e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11047195894985453722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601004758950599461.post-50368522322655868152015-04-07T20:13:00.001-06:002015-04-13T08:42:28.932-06:00when we get outside to see the river & the rock<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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One afternoon we drove a little south and walked the Vista Verde trail. We were looking to walk someplace not-snowy. Not far from a popular local's fishing spot, the canyon trail runs fairly flat, with wide vista views. Eventually the trail ends at an overlook to the Rio Grande. We ran into a few groups of bighorn sheep, who nimbly run along the rocky cliffs. They took a few looks at us, even crossed our path a few times with horns held high, but mostly were more concerned with eating. </div>
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Evidence that this trail is centuries old is the petroglyphs along the trail, in varying stages of age. The darker the marking, the more it could be 1,000 years old. We found one rock just covered in different variations of circle symbols. When the Spanish arrived and began to also walk these trails, they felt compelled to leave a cross as their symbol...symbolically altering the messages they didn't understand with one which they did.</div>
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A weekend or two ago, we drove west to Tres Piedras, an old mining/ranching community which gets its name from the jutted outcroppings of smooth granite formations. The formations sit surrounded by a forest of Ponderosas. After beginning our walk, I was right away finding too many rocks to put in my pockets. The granite is banded by pink quartz. I kept finding the clearest, pinkest, glittering pieces of it. I also found many pieces of black obisdian, which would have been used by toolmakers back in the ancient days. I now have a bowl of shining black & pink on our coffee table.</div>
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We climbed/walked all over the massive rocks. Stopping for a lunch with a view to the East, of the Taos Plateau, and the peaks & the foothills which we live within.</div>
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With Spring has come fewer fires to build, sort of because it is warmer, but mostly because we've both tired of the constant ritual. The acequia is running full force, the snow pack this year being so good. Though almost all year we can hear the river rushing by, it is hundreds of yards away. Now with the sound just outside our window too, we are constantly reminded of the force of water in our lives, and in this valley. </div>
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I've transplanted some onions & garlic. And started seeds in the greenhouse. In just a week or two we will be bringing home a puppy, which we are doing our best to prepare for. If only I could prepare Libby, but she lives in cat-ignorance. </div>
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Spring gets us a little restless. D. thinks he should be outside for as long as the sun is up, and I think about how much there is to do and how little free time I have to do much at all. This morning we realized we'd been sharing a coffee cup for the past few mornings, without realizing it. I kept wondering how my coffee was always so freshly hot, and he must have wondered why he kept needing to fill it. </div>
<br />e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11047195894985453722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601004758950599461.post-69471863198007775352015-03-01T15:33:00.000-07:002015-03-01T18:11:39.068-07:00winter in nm<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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at a certain point we just stopped worrying about how dirty the floor is by the front door. with muddy shoes one day, and then snowy the next. we've decided to deal with it later.</div>
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fiery sunsets show up when the skies are clear. and they are just as amazing from outside as inside.</div>
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the other night we took a walk just as the skies got dark. with the snow, the light was just dark blue all around. as we walked we heard just the sounds of our boots in the snow, and the river rushing through.</div>
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getting over a foot in two days at our house, means the ski valley must have twice that. these are the good days for skiers. and in my blah-ness about more snow falling, I realized that one can't survive winters here without finding ways to have fun in the snow. with a rental of skis & boots, thoughtfully done by D., I was ready for some cross country. and it worked out lovely that we could just do it around home. it was fun. the feeling of gliding through the snow. I get it, I get why people love it. </div>
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my body feels different in mostly good & improved ways. I still have issues with my stomach muscles, which are not as instantly better as I wanted. I feel stronger, but in everything I do I'm worried I'll hurt what has healed. next winter, I'll be amazingly stronger & ready for some actual skiing.</div>
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I just took a little walk up to our trail. the snow is deep, over my boots, and slushy at the bottom, making the walk slick and cushiony. everything outside is peacefully layered in healthy moisture. I walked by a cedar and my nose was overwhelmed at the smell. the snow has made the cedars strong.</div>
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i'm needing something more than what I have in my days. my job isn't as fulfilling as I need. or my time at home isn't very productive with creative projects. i'm looking for something, and I'm sure warmer days & nights, and the energy of Spring will help me with this. </div>
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<br />e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11047195894985453722noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601004758950599461.post-67076246341024800222015-02-01T14:28:00.003-07:002015-02-01T14:28:59.913-07:00lovely snow<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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the locals (& skiers) around here don't think we've had a good snow year. I'm pretty okay with it. I'm ready for it all to move on to Spring (not that it doesn't snow in Spring). I guess I'm a little over winter.</div>
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I have enjoyed the chance to get out my super snow boots. Black & clunky, but warm and solid. They make me feel strong in the snow. </div>
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it stays relatively warm here, for winter temps. which makes winter seem not so long. but I'm ready for more light in the day. </div>
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we planned on this being the winter I got on something other than snowshoes. but so far skis haven't been much of an option. I'm realizing that unless you live here to ski, it is easy for all the other things in life to get in the way. but, it could still happen. if on our next free weekend we have fresh snow.</div>
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walks through our snowy pastures have been lovely. I'm not over the loveliness of it all. </div>
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unfortunately the roads quickly turn to mud out here. on my walk today I got stopped at the bend by the river. the snow is easier to walk in than the mud. but I knew the mud would take over. I detoured to walk along the river, noticing what tracks were in the snow. mostly it looked like the rabbits had a busy morning. and the magpies are so light the tracks they leave are like little skis on the snow.</div>
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<br />e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11047195894985453722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601004758950599461.post-72092513148117722282015-01-12T18:24:00.000-07:002015-01-12T18:24:15.474-07:00christmas and this last weekend<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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We went to Kansas over Christmas. We sat at the dinner table with Harris relatives, we had drinks with my Dad & MEK while opening presents, we spent an evening with our many friends in Newton, and then had dinner with them too. We ate cinnamon rolls & then took our Christmas walk around the farm, thankfully without the cold wind we had last year. We attended the Eve service at Alexanderwohl again, and again I got choked up as we sang the hymns. Christmas night was a gathering of our parents, which we are so lucky to be able to bring together. And then we finished the week with D's family. Actually, I spent an entire day in bed with what was a cold for D., but a big attack on my not-up-to-par immune system. Then we drove home. We felt lucky to have had the time to spend in Kansas, and to be able to spend it all together. We also wondered what it would be like to spend Christmas in Taos some time. Oh, the holidays. </div>
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Christmas sort of capped off my post surgery recovery time. This past weekend we drove up to Wild Rivers again, thinking we'd walk the La Junta trail. I felt very ready to just do it, and just make myself strong again. But the wind on the La Junta was brutal, so we jumped over to Little Arsenic for awhile, and then to the Chiflo. We didn't make it all the way down either of them, because it turned out I wasn't quite ready. But in comparison to our little trip out here six weeks ago, in which we just walked the sidewalks around the overlook of the trail, it was a win. Walking then was still unsteady, and it hurt like god damn hell. Walking this time, just made me feel extremely tired. But it was awesome.</div>
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My new appreciation is for the strength and ability I've always had, and never fully realized. Standing tall, walking without fear of falling, moving on. </div>
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Two women I love, who also have the scar I have, though because they were having children not hysterectomies, recommended I gently massage the scar...to help bring the feeling back. I do, lightly, and usually thing about other things. But I will fall into the knowledge, that rather stark fact, which seems to sit outside of me in a darkness, that the scar is where I was opened up. The scar is what's left of something once there. My body has been altered. And it was all entirely a "normal" and routine medical procedure. And when I was preparing myself for the medically routine, normal procedure, I had no idea I needed to prepare so much for the aftermath, full of things that didn't feel routine or normal at all. </div>
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Hopefully it won't be long before we make it out to Wild Rivers again. </div>
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e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11047195894985453722noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601004758950599461.post-34008435317454399602014-12-15T18:14:00.000-07:002014-12-15T18:14:02.782-07:00snow fell <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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we had snow, and then sunshine.</div>
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I've been taking walks. And trying to stay strong of mind and body. </div>
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soon we will drive home for Christmas. and then I will be going back to work.</div>
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I'm still healing, and it has been the hardest part of it all. </div>
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<br />e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11047195894985453722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601004758950599461.post-47751821292594148482014-12-07T12:34:00.000-07:002014-12-07T12:34:06.307-07:00december<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Dark nights come soon as the mountains hide the fading sunset light. Out here in our rural community, the only light comes from neighboring porches and the visible moon. At 5pm last night, already pitch night, we started down our driveway, and quickly noticed deer in our way. A few were in the drive, a few by the fence, and as we slowly drove down, in awe we noticed even more. Filling our pasture, were the silhouettes of the herd. Their long ears perked up, the antlers still, and their white tails shining in what little light was out. They all stopped to watch us, and we stopped to see them. Then we continued along our road to see even more. It was one of those magical moments, when you are reminded that we live among wild herds, and that the countryside we love living in, is home to creatures that wait until dark falls to come out. It felt like we were witnessing a secret of the night.</div>
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Our purpose for going into town was to visit the annual Lighting Ledoux celebration. Ledoux Street is home to galleries and museums, and on this night the glowing farolitos are set out and lit for the first time. Galleries stay open late, offering cider and cookies, and many light bonfires in their yards, so that people can stop, sit and chat by a fire. The smell of pinon burning, the flicker of the lights and the coldness of the fresh air. </div>
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This is a Taos tradition which I hadn't gotten to experience yet. Even though I'm still uncomfortable and need to sit, often, it was something I didn't want to miss this year. We had fun, stopping many times to chat with friends also walking the street.</div>
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Snow has been falling on the high peaks, but for us in the foothills, we've mostly had rain rather than snow. The rain brings out the brightness in the browns & golds. </div>
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Recovery has gone well, though I've been frustrated many times. Overall though, I've improved and continue to do so. It feels like an accomplishment that I can mostly bend over and that I can walk around without feeling so fragile and unstable. </div>
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I've noticed that my emotions on the tipping edge. Feeling like crying comes easily. This experience has changed the way I view what life is, and what life can be. And it has further cemented the closeness and love I have in my partner. I look at the foothills and mountains, and I have a desire to climb them. And my goal in the next year is to regain my strength, and more so. I want my body to feel strong with each step, not just for climbing mountains but for encountering life, living and the challenges in them. </div>
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<br />e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11047195894985453722noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601004758950599461.post-71915320408764558902014-11-17T17:17:00.003-07:002014-11-17T17:17:54.201-07:00november <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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a week ago now I was coming out of surgery. my hysterectomy, which had been scheduled for months, and known to be inevitable for years, finally had to happen.<br />
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my post-op recovery took awhile longer than expected, worrying D. who was waiting. but when I woke, in the dark blur with a nurse named Jason talking to me, all I felt was pain deep inside. the spinal I'd received was surely working, but just not that well. so it took awhile to get enough morphine in me to move me into a room.<br />
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eventually in a private room, which other than having to listen to a woman in labor/giving birth in the room next to me, was quiet. ironic that women who are losing their ability to birth recover in the same ward in which women are giving birth.<br />
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i've been home now for almost six days. with at least six pillows propping me up in various ways. with a cat allowed to sleep on the bed next to me. and with a constant supply of hot tea and loving attention.<br />
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today when I first woke up I was thinking about how I can't go back and undo it. it is done. and overall, I'm very glad. this morning I was just tired of feeling the pain.<br />
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for me, getting through surgery heavily relied on one thing. my loving partner, who didn't want to leave my side. he was there to listen to the nurses, ask questions, sleep two nights on an uncomfortable roll-out chair, fill my ice cup and each time i needed, he helped me get out of bed, walk me to the bathroom, helped me sit on the toilet and then he pulled me back up.<br />
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it does feel like something is gone from my insides. it is almost surreal how much I can tell. but I hope I won't miss it, or what it represented, too much. as I have so much around me to fill me up. so much to keep pulling me up.<br />
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<br />e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11047195894985453722noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601004758950599461.post-69718741623193303102014-10-25T10:01:00.000-06:002014-10-25T10:01:11.916-06:00october<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I'm am at the point of posting monthly now. Amazing what working full-time away from home can do to your blogging. Writing about work isn't any fun, so it all comes down to weekends. And sometimes weekends are just washing dishes and baking bread. Though lately I've been cooking up tomato sauce too. And in preparation for surgery I'm having in two weeks, I've been baking up pasta and fixing up burritos for the freezer. Somehow it makes me feel less anxious if I know there will be food I made for D. to eat during my recovery.</div>
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The garden faded in a lovely way, and it became a home for the rabbits (safe from the coyotes). The aspens turned gold in a week, and now are beginning to lose their leaves. Fall in northern NM means seeing golden patches on the mountains appear and disappear, bushes of chamisa turn bright yellow, the smell of pinon burning, mornings hazy over the valley from woodstove smoke, deer tracks in the yard and truck beds either piled high in wood or showing the tops of antlers, a tell-tale sign of a recent hunt. </div>
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In late September was the Taos Fall Arts Festival, this time including the idea of a friend of ours, incorporating street art & performance. Called The Paseo (for the street it lined) it was a long walk of different street art, from huge mechnical robots and displays to adobe walls lit up in papercut projections. We were lucky enough to get our tintype photo taken by one of the visiting artists. Though it took forever, since the plate had to be exposed and processed one at a time, we love that we held out. </div>
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It also means sunny, warm days and crisp, freezing nights. The pleasantness of the weather here.</div>
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A few weekends ago we started out on a drive to see fall colors, with a walk in mind. We drove through little Truchas, where I found some awesome roadside graffiti. But we ended up heading south to Chimayo, to visit <a href="http://www.elsantuariodechimayo.us/">El Santuario. </a> A site of pilgrimage, famous for the healing dirt upon which it is built. It was a spiritual place of healing for the native populations before the Catholic populations began living here & built a chapel. Now the courtyard is covered in altars of rosaries, candles and homemade crosses. And as we visited the simple adobe chapel full of believers. People praying in spanish, and people weeping at the altar. A moving place, you can feel the belief, the hope, the sorrow, the relief and the ancient ways. We brought home a little wooden replica of the chapel, and in it we filled with some of the healing dirt. This is a part of what you do when you live in New Mexico.</div>
<br />e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11047195894985453722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601004758950599461.post-16695543415914233992014-09-21T19:14:00.002-06:002014-09-21T19:14:50.728-06:00september<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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We've reached that time of year, time to prepare for winter. The cat hunted/caught two mice, we are collecting newspapers, calculating how much wood we need to cut & burn. It is soon time to fill the propane, clean the chimney and start wearing slippers again.</div>
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We spent the last week camping near the Walnut river, in Kansas. Our annual time to see & spend time with many people we simply love to be nearby. </div>
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Picking the flowers which are slowly fading and will soon freeze. </div>
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Warm temperatures alluded my tomatoes this year. Picked my first big batch today, and made some sauce. Quite a change from last year's bounty. But since we still have sauce from last year in the freezer, we didn't really need as much. </div>
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The Statice I grew has come out in blues, pinks and purples. I've been cutting it & hanging to dry on the back porch. Thinking it will be welcome color in the winter depths. </div>
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Working full-time in town has been rewarding, but a new perspective for me. Suddenly my time is no longer mine, it belongs to work. And I'm not sure I'll ever be convinced that is really how I want to live. Am glad the job I have now is one I feel good about. </div>
<br />e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11047195894985453722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601004758950599461.post-38687230023230007722014-08-16T10:53:00.000-06:002014-08-16T10:53:04.088-06:00oh, august already.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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though the garden has grown more slowly than last year's did, it has grown. and I picked my first red cherry tomato this week. and last night the colors of the garden were fading in a lovely way as the sun set in brilliant orange & pink. </div>
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the garden hasn't had my usual devotion this summer, a combination of my working full-time away from home, the cooler temps which have made for slower growth and my also just not being up to my physically best for the past few weeks. but these things will fade with this summer. I have marveled at how well the marigolds did this year. </div>
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d. is returning today from a few days away in the mountains. the house is especially quiet, outside the window the sound of aspen leaves rustling the the breezes, and the occasionally mew of the cat. she & I will both be happy to have our companion home. with out now different schedules, we don't see each other as much as we used to, and that's been an adjustment.</div>
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and now with Fall coming, we have wood to cut and a trip to Winfield to plan.</div>
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<br />e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11047195894985453722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601004758950599461.post-43252790498460211292014-07-19T21:21:00.001-06:002014-07-19T21:21:01.736-06:00july weekend<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Last weekend we attended the Taos Pueblo Powwow for the Grand Entry (opening ceremony). The crowd seemed more subdued than our last visit, but it may have been the rain and cooler weather. We stood near the circle's entrance, which meant I got to watch each dancer as they came into the entry's dance.</div>
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I thought about how this ceremonial tradition brings together people from tribes all over, of different faiths, languages and communities. And yet they gather together for ceremony, remembrance and unity. And do any other groups of people (from different religions, communities and languages) in this country do this? </div>
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Just as it began to get dark, the clouds broke, and a very full moon began to shine. The announcer of the Powwow stopped what he was introducing, so that he could tell everyone to look up at the moon. The moon, he explained, plays an important role in Pueblo tradition, and there it was, blessing the Powwow with its brilliant light.</div>
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Our monsoon season has begun. It clouds up and rains just about every afternoon & evening. I think we had a hot Summer for about a 1 1/2 weeks. Because our Spring was cool, and our warm weather pretty short, the garden is not as flourishing as it was last year at this time. But it is growing, and very happily green. It is also just a bit stunted. A little bit shorter than last year. And it will probably be weeks yet before I have a ripe tomato (this altitude!). But I did pick our first cucumber today, and we munched it as I made dinner. I've been picking little bouquets of flowers (my favorite sign of summer) every other day or so. And I try to throw fresh chives, thyme, cilantro or oregano into dinner each night.</div>
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I spent my week learning my new job. Overall, I feel pretty good about things. I'm a little intimidated by all the people I need to meet and know, and I have a lot of work to learn and to do. I'll have some challenges ahead, but challenges are good for me. And I'm doing a kind of work I've been wanting to do for years. </div>
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<br />e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11047195894985453722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601004758950599461.post-60812081006448756592014-07-06T15:06:00.001-06:002014-07-06T15:06:39.397-06:00into July<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Last weekend we took a morning hike up the Canoncito trail. It is a tree-covered, creek-crossing abundant trail. We had sandwiches at the end of the trail before we headed back down. </div>
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I get a little bit claustrophobic on these tree-covered trails. And I find that what D. loves about these walks (the time to quietly walk & think all your thoughts) is what I have a hard time doing. But me leaving myself alone with my thoughts isn't something I've been very good at in a long time.</div>
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The garden is filling up in colors. Pink hollyhocks, orange & yellow marigolds, yellow blooming cucumbers and all kinds of green. </div>
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And I'm quite in love with the flowering sweetpeas. Hot pink and reddish purples, fairy-like petals on delicate stems. Glad I decided to grow these. </div>
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This morning we took a walk up our backyard. The morning sun was already quite intense, and it was a relief to drop down into the canyon and walk home along the water. The chollas are blooming impressively, and have filled the desert mountains with bright pinks. </div>
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<br />e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11047195894985453722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601004758950599461.post-67929831500080438122014-06-27T19:59:00.001-06:002014-06-27T19:59:11.646-06:00little patch of lettuce<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The hollyhocks, which I planted last year, are about up to my shoulder now. There are dozens of buds all over the plant. Hollyhocks love northern New Mexico, they grow all over town like weeds. Very pretty summer weeds. </div>
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Now that June is ending, the tomatoes are starting to actually grow. It takes getting slightly warmer nights for this to happen. My marigolds are getting busy, which makes me happy. I like the clusters of marigold oranges, yellows and greens throughout the garden. The self-seeded cilantro is tall and about to bloom. I've been eating fresh cilantro on my evening salads, and tonight we threw a handful into our turkey tacos. </div>
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These are the cosmos, which also self-seeded from last year's blooms. They are so very green & whispy.</div>
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Now, the afternoon breezes are summer soft & warm. The papery Aspen leaves flutter all around the house. We've been enjoying sits on the front porch. Libby comes out with us and chases grasshoppers. </div>
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Yesterday J. from next door brought me a bag of freshly picked salad greens, mostly kale and chard. Delicious, and considering the abundance he has planted, it will be a fortunate summer to be his neighbor.<br />
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My own little patch of lettuce is just now getting big enough to pick and eat. This first-time lettuce growing experience has not been very satisfying. </div>
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I applied for another job, and I've been told I'm the final candidate, and have a start date of 7/14. I'll be working for a non-profit. I'll be the admin assistant for the Director--and my job will involve grant writing, organizing fund-raisers, working with the press and other basic admin stuff. It has been so long since I've been challenged that I'm a bit intimidated, but I'm also excited to have a job that I have to really think about and care about. </div>
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Tomorrow, a massage (last year's birthday present from T., which I'm finally taking advantage of) and some outside time, some laundry on the line time, some sewing time, some cleaning the house time. </div>
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<br />e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11047195894985453722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601004758950599461.post-87763168413479938842014-06-15T15:08:00.002-06:002014-06-15T15:08:21.754-06:00petunia called picasso<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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today I put some shade cloth over a few plants. I think the sun is draining them. I recall being worried about this last year, but I don't recall it seeming quite so bad. they just seem sapped of a happy green. some shade should help. and the garden looks like it has ghosts in it now.</div>
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I always want to buy lots of marigolds and I never do simply because it gets expensive. but this year I started them from seed, and they were the easiest thing to grow. and now I might have too many. </div>
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I bought this petunia for two reasons, one it has flowers hot pink rimmed in green and two, it is called a "Picasso petunia". and we may officially have too many plants now. </div>
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flowering sweetpeas are the most darling things. I'm growing some but they aren't flowering yet, these I picked from the greenhouse. my neighbor J. offered them, and he referred to them as the "wedding peas".</div>
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I drive into work each day trying to keep a positive attitude, I drive home exhausted from trying to stay positive. the place has too much chaos, mess and lack of processes for me to deal with, either emotionally or professionally. it gets in the way of me feeling like I'm doing a good job. but I have no input on changing it. I know lots of people work jobs they aren't happy in, I know I even work with some of them. I'm going to do my best to find a better one.</div>
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for months now I've been hearing about a job from a friend, and she said it might get posted this summer. and it was just a few days ago. so I've been working on my application this weekend. This is the kind of job that would actually use my capabilities & my degrees. I'll probably be more stressed out by this job, but I'll also be happier. so fingers crossed on this one.</div>
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D. is off camping with other boys. he'll be home tomorrow. and though I used to live my life this way, alone each day & night, and I'm quite okay with alone-time, I'm so happy to know that he will be home tomorrow. when you get used to having someone around to talk to, or just, be near, there is quite a gaping silence when that person is gone. </div>
<br />e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11047195894985453722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601004758950599461.post-77488628677864076372014-06-08T14:30:00.001-06:002014-06-08T14:30:45.545-06:00june garden starts <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I spend the first few weeks of my garden season fairly certain it will all fail. But then the roots begin to take, and new leaves begin to sprout, and I realize that once again, I know how to plant things. And every year something is new and something dies and something thrives.</div>
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This year, just outside the living room window, I have a bed of spinach and lettuce growing. Safe from munching bunnies.</div>
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And since the neighbor is building a house next to our back yard, our back patio isn't as inviting as it used to be. We're accommodating by making the front porch a pretty place to sit too (lots of plants and some camp chairs). And though we have a few too many wasps buzzing around the front porch, we still find it more relaxing that sitting within view and earshot of the neighbor and his construction. </div>
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Also outside the living room, we put in a flower bed. Though some leftover tomato and pepper plants have landed there as well. By Summer, I should be able to see blooming flowers while sitting inside on my couch. (Notice the rock wall inspired by Chaco.)</div>
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The hollyhock is already up to my chest. And last year's herbs (chives, sage, thyme & oregano) are already bigger than they ever were last year. All the garden is planted. Now we wait. And also now I have to investigate the little black bugs I'm finding on the tomatoes. </div>
<br />e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11047195894985453722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601004758950599461.post-86323885196729572622014-06-01T18:11:00.002-06:002014-06-01T20:18:44.441-06:00where people lived<br />
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Somewhere driving through the Santa Fe National Forest, while driving to Chaco Canyon, we drove through a tiny town named Coyote which seemed so remote, and so hard to get to, and so closed in by cliffs, that we realized there are places in this country that are truly far away from the rest of the world. Our drive took us through desert mesas, red cliffs and forests of Ponderosa pines.<br />
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This is a place we'd been talking about going to for awhile. And when the subject of "something fun for my birthday" came up...this was D's suggestion.<br />
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The Chaco Culture National Park, otherwise known as Chaco Canyon, is a shallow canyon 10 miles long in the northwest corner of New Mexico, at least 50 miles from any town. You take the 550 highway up along the Navajo reservation, turn left at the Nageezi gas station, and spend 20 miles on a bumpy dirt road. Along the way it is flat, and wild ponies run and you pass by the occasional hogan or trailer, none of which look inhabited. And you think again about what it is like to live so far away from what you think the country is.<br />
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Chaco is considered to contain one of the most important collections of ancient ruins north of Mexico. The now-crumbling ruins were built between 900 and 1150 AD and it is believed to have been a major cultural center for the pre-Columbian peoples. Built by people we now call the Anasazi, it was likely used as a ceremonial center which people would travel to from hundreds of miles away. It isn't just one ruin, it is at least 15 "great" houses, only some of which has been excavated.<br />
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We arrived in the evening, with the wind picking up and a possible storm on the way. Our reserved camp site looked like the worst one there, but luckily, some other folks had left scared of the rain, so we got a much better site after all. From the camp site you can see La Fajada Butte, which excited both of us. We knew that beyond the Butte were the ruins, and that we'd have to wait til the next day to see them all.<br />
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La Fajada Butte towers above the canyon at 380 feet high. There are ruins of small structures on the Butte, showing that someone once lived up there. And astrological markings on the Butte show its important to the people in tracking the stars. The Navajo believe that a witch (la bruja) lived in the great house, called La Una Vida, nearest the Butte, and that she kept her prisoners trapped up high & on top.<br />
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Whether because of climate, lack of food or simply a revolt of neighboring peoples, Chaco was abandoned by its population. It now sits at the edge of the Navajo reservation ("Anasazi" is the Navajo world for "ancient enemy"), and the area is considered sacred by the Navajo, Hopi and Pueblo peoples.<br />
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Whoever built these "great" houses did so with full knowledge of how to build them in alignment with solar and lunar cycles. They understood the sun, the moon and the eclipses. Faint outlines of the North and South roads which led from Chaco to the outside world, for hundreds of miles, still exist. We could see them while standing on the mesa above the canyon. It is said you can even see them from space.<br />
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We started the morning with the hike up the mesa to the Pueblo Alto (High House), which seems to have been built with a view to the north, sort of a watch-out house for the population in the canyon below. What continually astounded us was how much you can still see. The roads which they had built, still cutting through on the south & north sides. How evident it was that this was all so designed, and built with purpose. </div>
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One thing about the Chaco ruins that has piqued so much interest, is that the buildings were created from rock, mortar and even wood. Pueblo peoples build with adobe mud bricks, and have for the past 1,000 years, but the Chaco people, built in stone. They meant to last forever. </div>
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Once we climbed back down (had a picnic lunch in the truck, and put on our rain jackets), we began the walks around Chetro Ketl, Pueblo del Arroyo and Pueblo Bonito. The Pueblo Bonito house is the largest, it is estimated over 1,000 people lived in the Bonito spot alone. Apartments were built three-stories high.<br />
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Most believe that Chaco was built for ceremony, probably a combination of religion & government. A place of pilgrimage for thousands, over hundreds of years. The people that lived here all year-round were the caretakers of the buildings, the kivas, priests & leaders. The number of Kivas at Chaco is a prime reason for this belief. The "great" houses themselves were likely more than houses, they were temples and palaces. </div>
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I'm reading a book called "The House of Rain" which is an exploration of the ancient civilizations of the Southwest. In it the author, Craig Childs, writes that the structures of Chaco were "ceremonial buildings that once stood out like cathedrals in the desert."</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">a kiva</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">petroglyphs</td></tr>
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Chaco is for explorers. It is for those who relish in the mystery & stories of history. We of course are two of those people. </div>
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We spent most of our trip in awe. Awe of the canyon, of the ruins, the trails and the petroglyphs. The magic, the ceremony, the religion and the faith that once resided here must have been powerful, because you can still feel something as you walk in the shadows of the walls that remain standing. As the author, Craig Childs writes, "something colossal happened here."</div>
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e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11047195894985453722noreply@blogger.com0