snowy april afternoon

guilt

guilt for not noticing sooner that my Libby was injured.
a bite to the paw, leading to a high fever. and now a wrapped up leg. and daily medicine. and another check up next week.

guilt for not being more sad to be moving away. for being excited to see what moving away means for me.

guilt for leaving my brother & his children.
for putting nine hours between me & my whole family.

guilt for getting rid of things which other people gave me.

guilt for not having time to see everyone.

guilt for wanting to skip all the good-byes anyway.

guilt for my accumulation of stuff.

guilt for all the trash I've created.

guilt for forcing my boyfriend to live with a cat, and for forcing my cat to spend nine hours in a car.

today in the vet's office, as libby lashed out in pain as they tried to clean up her wound. i felt that familiar feeling, that I was about to faint. that I was probably turning green. and I needed to sit down, and just breathe. it is all beginning to hit me now. the whirlwind tornado of emotions.

and I know everything I'm feeling is okay.

and I'm just reminding myself that with every step & worry I just need to remember to breathe.

my daffodils are starting to bloom.
my windows are open to the warm air & sounds of a lawn mower.
I wore flip-flops all day.
all very nice, except it is St. Patrick's Day, and it should still be colder.
not complaining,  just a little worried about what it all means for the upcoming summer.

and the kitten has found a new favorite spot for her lazy moments.

yep, there's a picture of my cute cat.

last year I was sitting in an "Irish" pub in Berlin, ordering Jamison in German. well, I wasn't actually the one doing the ordering,  just some of the drinking.

fitzgerald

my wonderful little furry companion for over 18 years.
we said goodbye today. and now everything is quiet.

kitten

libby, the kitten.
there is a lot of playing with anything that moves, or that might move.
and periods of intense napping.
her purr is bigger than she is.
the senior citizen cat is tolerating. mostly by avoidance and an occasional pissed-off growl.

finding shade

though the senior citizen is content to keep cool by napping on a shady back porch, I'm quite happy to have air conditioning again.

aging

this elderly old guy has been diagnosed with renal failure.

considering he is 18 years old, and this is the first time he's been diagnosed with anything, I think he's done a pretty good job.

and now he has weeks, months or even a year left.

he doesn't know he's sick. he's more concerned with the birds chirping outdoors. and he is enjoying the expensive new prescription cat food.

I hope he never knows he's sick. and his 18th year is a peaceful one.

seeking warmth

you'd think he didn't have warm, soft places to sleep all over the house.

little ladybug

the day I brought her home.















the day I said goodbye.


thank you ladybug. for 15 years of good kitty love.

sleep well.

warm

the best (warmest) place in the house. while the cold winds swirl outside the windows.