middle of May

at the beginning of the week we received several inches of snow, though it all melted away by the next day. and here at the ending of the week, we spent the day in shorts and t-shirts.

mi madre y mi tia were here for two nights. I got to take them to favorite places, eat good food with them, and show them our backyard hike. it felt nice to be with two women I am so incredibly related to. 

i've been moving little plants out during the day. my basil gets lots of sun, and then comes back in at night. but the flowering sweetpeas and some of the morning glories went in the ground today. oh, how satisfying it feels to plant things. these little green bits that I put in soil to sprout back when the outside seemed so cold and Spring seemed forever away. I moved a lot of my geraniums outside today too, and then filled up my red water pitcher in the acequia, and watered them with the fresh snow water. 

 the hollyhock I planted last year has boldly returned.

this evening the sky turned pink and purple, and D. shot some hoops as it got too dark to see. our night is closing with another viewing of Easy Rider, in honor of the Dennis Hopper-day celebrated in Taos this weekend (Hopper being one of our more infamous once-residents). and because it opens with a scene shot with a view of Taos Mountain.

next weekend we are taking a trip to Chaco Canyon. I'll have pictures.

a few days in Kansas

mom's Christmas cactus in bloom

candles and a piece of Taos

we are home from Christmas, in which we visited our families in Kansas. we had mostly sunny drives, with only few patches of snowy roads. and the bitter winter wind that greeted us in Kansas disappeared into the sun by Christmas Day.

in a whirlwind we saw our parents, my brother's family and many of our good friends. we ate many cookies, cinnamon rolls, zwieback and we had a special Faspa. and overall it felt like a good holiday for both of us. 

and now comes the time of reflection. the end of the year, the start of another, and all the importance we place on this change in the cycle. I definitely need a list, of things to let go, of things to think about moving forward, of things I want from this new year. but I know the list doesn't need to be huge, there is nothing so large to tackle, mostly I just want to focus on my each new day and what comes, what may.

familia

my brother, sis-in-law and two little ones were able to visit us at the end of July. for all my worrying about what events to plan, we had plenty to do and plenty of time to do nothing much at all.  we went for walks, played in the acequia, ate new mexican food, made pancakes, & had late-night chats. 

we also took a swim in the Rio Grande. the water was chilly, and the sun hid behind the clouds often. mostly we just waded in up to our knees, or sat on huge, warm rocks. but little A., didn't mind any of it. she just jumped in and paddled around that river. 

took a walk through the Rio Hondo, which is just a short walk away from the house. lovely to watch & listen to their voices with all the green and the burbling water. 

walked up our trail a short bit. just up the mountain to the first huge cluster of boulders. the kids had to navigate a little rock climbing. and there we saw ancient petroglyphs painted on the rock, and the view of our valley. we could point out our house, as well as the mountains far away. 

we stopped in to visit the Bent Street museum, which is just near the Plaza. I hadn't visited yet. And knowing my brother & I's mutual fascination with the history of the West, had hoped this would be my chance. It is tiny, dusty, crowded with historic memories and most things aren't labelled. those that are, in handwritten or typed script, on yellowed paper. 

up past Seco, we stopped for a short walk through the trees, to a cave. and surprising me, even the kids wanted to climb up to it. 

on our last afternoon, a trip up to the Ski Valley. to see the tallest trees and smell the pine-y air. stopped for a german pint, and the kids, for ice cream. and enjoyed the late afternoon sun, as the storm clouds began to pile up over the peaks. 

overall, now all of my family has seen our home. the air & the mountains around us. and it feels better knowing they have a sense of this new place. and I got to have their voices, laughing, in our house. so it feels more like home. it was good to be able to share this with them. and in the moments of sadness, when missing them was more powerful than actually having them in front of me, I just had to remind myself that this is the chapter in life for now. and our time-together moments will be enough to carry me through. 

they told us they think it is beautiful here, and they loved it. and sounds like they want to visit again. and now, for me,  they don't feel quite as far away as they did before they came. 

today

today. picked (& ate) our garden's first tomato. picked a bunch of red, pink, orange zinnias.

prepared and waited for our guests to arrive. (the little ones are coming!)

spring visit

just a few pics from this last weekend.
a visit from the folks.
and seeing some new things, as well as seeing them new through their eyes.

sunday note

landscape, an adobe, an overturned car

not really kansas

grandma on a car, in the zinnias & with family

I learned recently that not only did my great-grandmother enjoy being a photographer, but that she & I share a birthday.

I know that her parents came from Tennessee. And I know that she never knew her own mother. She was said to be sad, and often anxious, she only had one child survive, so she adopted others. And she may have been happier in her second marriage than in her first.

She died when I was still a baby. I like to think she must have held me once or twice. I like to think that she wondered who I was going to be, or thought I looked a little like her own daughter as a baby.

But I don't know. I know that she liked taking pictures of her daughter. I know that she took a trip outside of Kansas once, and she put pictures of her trip into a little black-paged scrapbook. And visited a place with an adobe building. And from these pictures I can feel like I have a few moments of who she was.

sunday note

a view after dinner friday night.
our week ended with a few nights with d's folks, warm times in the bitter cold.

this morning a drive out to the trees & foothills, so see a maybe-place-to-rent. a cute place in the quiet country, but we have some questions yet before our hopes get too high & our rent goes up.

rolling out some peppernut/pfeffernusse dough, and it crumbled all to pieces. casualty of the dry high air. so now to try and make another batch.

this winter has given me a true appreciation of long underwear and wooly socks & sweaters.

in a week we'll be hosting a Faspa for friends.

christmas journey

our drive to kansas started before the sunrise. so as we drove north, we watched as the sky over the mountains glowed in pinks.

 

and on our drive back to new mexico, the oklahoma panhandle was blanketed in white above, white below. 

we were cheered to find the skies turning blue as we continued west & south. 

our visit to kansas was brief. but we started with my father's side of the family, in a house full of relatives. with plenty of food and warm people. they all happily welcomed my d. I was glad to see them together, it means much to have all the parts of my family come together.

went to christmas eve service so that I could see my cuties on stage. and then with candles lit, we sang carols from the pews, reminding me of holidays past. then opened presents. only to wake up the next morning to see that santa had brought even more. even the cookies were gone, which amazed my nephew. then a little time at the kitchen table, playing with new animals & learning new toys. 

and now we are at home. with new snow. and a happy cat. and a day off to just do whatever.
and a fresh new year is coming. 

eula's dress

eula myrtle derrick. she was born in 1893, married in 1914, had two daughters, and then died young in 1925.

we're only indirectly related, as she was the older sister to my great grandmother allie.

i find myself completely intrigued by her beautiful hair, those dark, intense eyes and the amazing dress.

she looks like she had a lot on her mind, and many things to say. I hope that she was able to.

all the many words

grandma & I think, her father.

I made a quick visit to Kansas to see my grandma. because as she told me, she's "feelin poorly".
am very happy I saw her. her blue eyes & her smile will always be a part of me.
while there, I looked through photo albums. and found some pictures to take pictures of.

on the front porch at the farm

for me, every picture is a moment of a story. a clue to a day in the life. and I find I gravitate towards the pictures that were unposed, a little blurred, or maybe just seemingly abstract, simply a glimpse into meaning....the photographer had a reason behind the moment, but it might be up to us now to figure it out.

mother derrick and her chickens

seventh

a tractor ride. a kansas blue sky. his seventh birthday.

his cheeks aren't as chubby anymore. but his stories & ideas keep getting better.

and then the brother's birthday too. and though now 38 & 40, we are still her sweet ones.

a mom's weekend

before I left Kansas, mom had given me several packets of sunflower seeds.
they started blooming in time for her visit.

for the first time I was picking someone up at the train.

spent our weekend walking around town, showing mom  the places that i'm growing familiar with.
we visited the Millicent Rogers museum, a maze of rooms housing an astonishing & enviable array of native american & southwestern jewelry, art & religious antiquities.

and then we walked up a little road to the once home of Mabel Dodge. and thought about living in such a beautiful spot in a Taos of so long ago.

two places I'd wanted to see. and was happy to see along with mom & d.

 and now it is time to ready for Fall. bringing plants inside. thinking about how a garden should ready the winter. spending a week camping at winfield. losing the flipflops and stuffing my feet into real shoes. changing from tomatoes, cucumbers and peaches to apples & squash.

the People

I woke up yesterday feeling the tears.
it was just the sadness of not holding their little hands as we walk to lunch.
or the effortless act of meeting a friend for a drink.
of not having to try so hard to make someplace feel familiar.

and then after I cried, I felt better.

as a part of the Taos Indian emergence myth, it is believed that Pueblo community began after many different groups of people finally gathered together from places far away. The groups that came together were the Feather people, Shell people, Water people, Big-Earring people, Knife people, Sun people, Old Axe people, Big Parrot Feather people, Lightning people and the Day people.

So, I'm just another people...A Kansas people, a Wheat-field people, a Great Plains people, or just a To-The-Stars-With-Difficulty people... that has come here to find a community. And if I can just be patient, I will find it too.

little notes

sometimes the clouds roll over from the mountains and only look like they will rain.
these actually did, in a flash of a flooding downpour.
it was amazing to watch from my large living room window.

being homesick is a powerful thing.
feeling that way while also happy is a bit confusing.
or maybe, comforting.
and the lovely little notes I get in the mail from the 4 & 6 yr-old are pretty awesome too. 

when d. dug up a new flower bed for us this is part of the treasure we found.

though the horseshoe I want up over our door is one I found in kansas on an abandoned farmstead. it is a bit bigger and heavier. and it is, I like to think, kansas-forged. 

saints waiting for a spot in the yard

I feel like a fool for not understanding the spanish I hear around me, every day & every where. I took all the classes. I even got good grades. but it has melted away, much like, I suppose, all the math I took too. time to learn once more.

we are learning our new place. new bugs, new dirt and new people. it is possible the cat is adjusting better than I am. as she has discovered a field of grasshoppers & butterflies in the backyard.

but this is part of adventure. exploring the new means leaving some old behind.