young and old

i'm looking for the face I had 

before the world was made.

-Yeats

in motion

 

in motion

you walk,

you get muddy.

water in motion

will not see the stars.

you walk,

you go blank.

you stop walking,

you dream.

-federico garcia lorca

selected

The sunlight in a
yellow plaque upon the
varnished floor

-William Carlos Williams

a.word.a.day heliolatry

heliolatry

PRONUNCIATION:

(hee-lee-OL-uh-tree)

MEANING:

noun: Worship of the sun.

ETYMOLOGY:

From Greek helio- (sun) + -latry (worship). A related word is heliotrope (a plant that turns toward the sun).

icy

february silence

gift

you tell me that silence

is nearer to peace than poems

but if for my gift

I brought you silence

(for I know silence)

you would say

   This is not silence

   This is another poem

and you would hand it back to me.

-Leonard Cohen

in winter

 I bake.

waiting

 

waiting for the chill in my bones to leave. for darkness to be pushed later into night.

there is no option but to wait.

wait for snow to melt. for Time to bring Spring. wait for light. 

neruda's chickens

picture from one of my windows last night.

this morning woke up to a cold, gray, dingy January morning.
And this poem was inside my head. A friend once read it to me.
I suppose that means I was also thinking about that friend this morning too.


A Certain Weariness

I am weary of chickens:
no one knows what they are thinking,
and they look at us with dry eyes
and consider us unimportant...

Pablo Neruda

a.word.a.day avoirdupois

avoirdupois

PRONUNCIATION:

(av-ur-duh-POIZ, -PWA)

MEANING:

noun: Heaviness or weight of a person.

ETYMOLOGY:

From Middle English avoir de pois (goods sold by weight), from Old French aveir de peis (goods of weight), originally referred to things sold in bulk.

corner messages

  

two messages I'd collected on my camera in 2009.

seeking warmth

you'd think he didn't have warm, soft places to sleep all over the house.

more

pictures of light, on a very cold day.

the snow, again

For the listener, who listens in the snow,

And, nothing himself, behold

Nothing that is not there and the nothing that is.

-Wallace Stevens

five degrees in january

windy and arctic cold.
but the sun is out.
and when I walked into the kitchen this morning,
I noticed the pictures of light, which were throughout
my house.

these past few days, I've been enjoying a new comforter on my bed.
and wool knee socks.
and working from home.

resolving, renewing, 2010

in 2009:
-I watched my niece & nephew grow, learning new words and new stories.
-I followed my new president with admiration.
-I began to pull clutter from my cupboards & shelves.
-I found someone to take care of my lawn, so well that I never even have to think about it. (now for someone to shovel snow...)


















-I began to appreciate listening to Jazz & the Blues, as much as Country & Bluegrass.
-I began to seriously consider attending Grad School, again.
-I started riding a bike again. And even collected a new one.

-I lost my Ladybug.
-I was often surrounded by friendship. (and music)

-The bad days in 2009 seemed to take forever out of me. The good ones, I think I overlooked too often.
-I learned I need to wear proper footwear if stomping in tent stakes when camping.
-Attended a wedding that reminded me that love and friendship can go arm-in-arm.

-I wished someone would discover new Ray Carver stories.
-My poppies bloomed beautifully.

-I didn't travel much at all.
-I had warm evenings with friends over Christmas. And then enjoyed my New Year's in a place that reminded me of the past, but didn't prevent me from thinking about the future.

I've been forming my resolution. Mulling it over in my head. Trying to put it together in words that make sense. I sat in awe of another's resolution on the morning of 2010, and felt inspired to write my own down. For the past few months, I've been trying to push away from my tendency to hesitate. I'm going to continue with that path. Trying to let go of the hesitation that strikes me, when asked about change, about the future or about my own emotions. Be less afraid, trust myself more, calm my sarcastic defenses and try asking for happiness, rather than hope it will come if I sit and wait for it.

Also, I ought to travel a little. And remember to return my library books more often. Call my friends more. Collect new possibilities. And plant more poppies. And carry my camera with more.

A new year, a new decade...It feels like time to open a new chapter.

partridge in a pear

present shopping done.

days ahead of eating christmas treats.

and many vacation days from work, almost here.

with visits from friends, and visits to family.

& then, 2010.

a.word.a.day wend

wend

PRONUNCIATION:

(wend)

MEANING:

verb tr., intr.: To travel along a route.

ETYMOLOGY:

From Old English wendan.

NOTES:

If you've ever wondered why we have the peculiar form "went" as the past tense of the word go (go, went, gone), today's word is the culprit. "Went" is the archaic past form of "wend". In current usage, the past form of wend is wended. The word is typically used in the phrase "to wend one's way".

december evening

finishing christmas presents.

trying to keep warm. furnace roars, constantly.

thinking about all the time ahead, with friends & family.

a little surprised each day, how early night comes.

wondering what will come, and what will go, in the new year.

december afternoon

last night baked a gingerbread (cake) recipe that called for a cup of guinness & a cup of molasses. along with a ton of ginger. not only was it the tastiest, it made my house smell delicious.

I shared it with friends & bourbon. and ate it for breakfast too.






















been fighting an urge all weekend, to take a long nap. thinking I could wake up and feel rested, in mind and body. somehow trying to prepare for a new year. closing one book, and opening another.

for the weekends ahead, it will be nothing but holidays.

seasonal hello

seriously, how does it know its (almost) christmas?

o tannenbaum

I put a little bit of holiday on my mantle.

works

(a picture from the barn.)

I don't know what works.

but, I wish I did.

the snow

It makes an even face
Of mountain and of plain, --
Unbroken forehead from the east
Unto the east again.

-Emily Dickinson

snow coming

the weather looks snowy in the next few days.

baking bread made my house smell warm. and it will be tasty with some soup, on a snowy evening. or just with some cheese & jam, which may be supper tonight.

this was a new recipe. I realise now it just looks like a big zwiebach, but it is actually a style of bread called a "cottage loaf". I got the recipe from an old neighbor. (thank you again!)

with snow, I hope comes some productive evenings ahead.

about the season

It takes awhile for me to appreciate these holidays. Since I usually just get annoyed by the constant jingle of christmas commercials. but have noticed a few things to be happy about.

the lights I keep up in my kitchen year-round, actually seem prettier than usual.






















the retro-print christmas fabric, which I could never wear but wanted to buy. became a dress for my little niece.


















sort of hard not to smile at the town's display of holiday lights.

feeling myself lighten up a little. so will try to keep looking around at reasons. to enjoy, the season.

thanks be.

for hugs from my niece.


















for the questions & the stories that come from my nephew.






















for seeing beauty in something forgotten.

for my family.
for my friends who are without question.
for my home. and a cranky old cat, who occasionally still plays like a kitten.
for living in Kansas.
for creativity, generosity and care.

and thank you for the sunshine on thanksgiving day.

great things list #17

the place where I'm hoping to spend some quality time over the next week.
can be dreamy, especially when the sunshine joins me.

finding the way

for some reason, at this time of year is when I wish I could visit Paris.
something about walking around that beautiful old city, all covered in twinkling lights.

anyways. Paris. Please.

I'd like a getaway.

being four

one of several birthday parties for the 4-yr old. sunny afternoon at the farm. roasted hot dogs & marshmallows over the fire. and a walk around the pond.

if you ask him, he'll offer up that he still kinda feels three sometimes.






















I made him a superhero cape. and it didn't take long to figure out that capes are fun to run around in.




















and he is very much one of my heroes.

the pumpkin & the elephant

my favorite halloween visitors.
were given specially made gingersnaps.
the elephant was excitably moving around so much,
that it was hard to capture a picture.


















until she discovered her candy stash again.

daredevil

I bought a scanner.

this is me, on my bigwheel. It is a little out of focus, since it is a high-speed action shot. I've heard from both of my parents that I was fearless on this thing. and often scared them to death, with bigwheelin' speed, twists & turns.

it is possible this was the only time I've ever been thought of as a daredevil.

I avoid things that frighten me. And I don't always make the best decisions, because of that fear. but I think in doing so, I ignore my own strength.

and i've been working on that. trying to be a little more of a daredevil. and hoping that if I take some chances, I might find that fun ride on a bigwheel again.

rusty

fall in kansas. rusty-colored milo.
where I live now, is where I grew up. and it will always feel like my home. sometimes wonder if it is meant to always be.

the leaves have finally changed. and there are shades of fall everywhere. and today's wind is leaving them everywhere scattered.

enjoyed my evening out last night. but it left my today feeling more quiet than normal.

spending time today prepping my kitchen for some fresh paint. for something brighter.

and thinking about the season changing. what is ahead. and how it is a person knows, what the right path is. how to fit the future into the present.

leaves falling

harvested the basil from the garden.
all the green is fading.
feel the need to buy new, warm socks & sweaters.
crowding all my plants into my few sunny windows.
found some fallen oak tree leaves in the backyard.
my mums are blooming in orange, pink & purple.
fall is very pretty.
but, I can't escape knowing, that what follows it, is winter.