neruda's chickens

picture from one of my windows last night.

this morning woke up to a cold, gray, dingy January morning.
And this poem was inside my head. A friend once read it to me.
I suppose that means I was also thinking about that friend this morning too.

A Certain Weariness

I am weary of chickens:
no one knows what they are thinking,
and they look at us with dry eyes
and consider us unimportant...

Pablo Neruda


a.word.a.day avoirdupois

(av-ur-duh-POIZ, -PWA)
noun: Heaviness or weight of a person.

From Middle English avoir de pois (goods sold by weight), from Old French aveir de peis (goods of weight), originally referred to things sold in bulk.


corner messages


two messages I'd collected on my camera in 2009.


seeking warmth

you'd think he didn't have warm, soft places to sleep all over the house.



pictures of light, on a very cold day.


the snow, again

For the listener, who listens in the snow,
And, nothing himself, behold
Nothing that is not there and the nothing that is.

-Wallace Stevens


five degrees in january

windy and arctic cold.
but the sun is out.
and when I walked into the kitchen this morning,
I noticed the pictures of light, which were throughout
my house.

these past few days, I've been enjoying a new comforter on my bed.
and wool knee socks.
and working from home.


resolving, renewing, 2010

in 2009:
-I watched my niece & nephew grow, learning new words and new stories.
-I followed my new president with admiration.
-I began to pull clutter from my cupboards & shelves.
-I found someone to take care of my lawn, so well that I never even have to think about it. (now for someone to shovel snow...)

-I began to appreciate listening to Jazz & the Blues, as much as Country & Bluegrass.
-I began to seriously consider attending Grad School, again.
-I started riding a bike again. And even collected a new one.

-I lost my Ladybug.
-I was often surrounded by friendship. (and music)

-The bad days in 2009 seemed to take forever out of me. The good ones, I think I overlooked too often.
-I learned I need to wear proper footwear if stomping in tent stakes when camping.
-Attended a wedding that reminded me that love and friendship can go arm-in-arm.

-I wished someone would discover new Ray Carver stories.
-My poppies bloomed beautifully.

-I didn't travel much at all.
-I had warm evenings with friends over Christmas. And then enjoyed my New Year's in a place that reminded me of the past, but didn't prevent me from thinking about the future.

I've been forming my resolution. Mulling it over in my head. Trying to put it together in words that make sense. I sat in awe of another's resolution on the morning of 2010, and felt inspired to write my own down. For the past few months, I've been trying to push away from my tendency to hesitate. I'm going to continue with that path. Trying to let go of the hesitation that strikes me, when asked about change, about the future or about my own emotions. Be less afraid, trust myself more, calm my sarcastic defenses and try asking for happiness, rather than hope it will come if I sit and wait for it.

Also, I ought to travel a little. And remember to return my library books more often. Call my friends more. Collect new possibilities. And plant more poppies. And carry my camera with more.

A new year, a new decade...It feels like time to open a new chapter.